Confession time. I'm 34 years old. My husband and I will be married for 4 years on November 2nd (we've been together for 11 years, not counting the years we dated in jr high and high school. That's right, I met my husband when we were 12). And we're ready (finally) to start having kids. Most of the girls I went to school with have preteens now, and I'm just starting to talk about having babies. I guess I'm just a late bloomer. ;)
Why am I telling you this? Because I'm scared. Will our baby be healthy? Will my labor be difficult? Will I have to have a C-section? Will I end up with gestational diabetes? Will I even be able to get pregnant????? There are two major issues that affect all those concerns.
First, even if I got pregnant today, I'll have hit 35 by the time I give birth. Those of you who are pregnant at this age know what that means. Three scary and somewhat demoralizing words: ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE. Ouch. Kick me in the shins while you're at it, why don't you? Modern medicine is not-so-subtly telling me that because I'm OLD, my pregnancy and birth carry more risks. Apparently, sometime between the 365th day of my 34th year and the 1st day of my 35th year, my reproductive system will completely melt down. Sheesh.
Second, I'm overweight. See that profile picture over there to the right? That's the last time I was thin. I've been varying levels of overweight nearly my entire life. And while being thin would be nice, that's not really my goal. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to have a complication-free pregnancy and birth. And more importantly, I want to be around to see my future children grow up.
I've tried all the fad diets, and you know as well as I do that they're all bull. The ONLY way I will reach my goal of better health is if I eat right and exercise. Gosh, it sounds so easy. And I'm pretty sure that the actual actions of eating healthy and exercising ARE easy. It's the giant chasm between my current habits of non-motivation and laziness and the new habits that I need to develop where all the problems lie.
So I'm going to take it one step at a time. I think that instead of saying "I need to lose (insert giant number here) pounds", I'm just going to go small. I can plan a week's worth of healthy meals. I can walk my dog every day this week. I can work out 4 times this week in addition to those walks. And if I can do those things next week too, I'll be well on my way to new habits, and better health. And with those new habits, a funny side effect will happen. The weight will come off.
Here's where I need your help. I know I can't do this by myself. If I'm the only person I have to be accountable to, there's no way this will work. I need you to ask me if I'm drinking my water, doing my yoga, walking the dog, eating my salads, not eating a cake. Chastise me when I slip up. I'm a big girl, I can take it. But most importantly, cheer me on when I do good things.
Help me, Mamavation Sistahood! And when we do have a baby, I will name it after all of you. A girl can have 100 middle names, right? Unless, of course, it's a boy, then the naming after you thing would just be awkward.
First of all, welcome to Mamavation! I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
ReplyDeleteSecond, yes, I had the curse of "Advanced Maternal Age." I was high risk to begin with due to losing our first child, but then add the high risk of being 35 - dude.
You're on the right track. Concentrate on making small changes that you can control. They'll become habits soon enough!
I'm @notdiyheather on Twitter :-)
I think they need to revisit that whole over 35 stuff. Women now are having babies much later than they used to. I almost smacked my OB when he used that phrase. He didn't use it again. The increase in risk is very small, so don't worry and don't let them tell you anything based on your age. The weight is a bigger factor. Check out this video that Leah did on setting much much smaller goals in order to deal with the overwhelming feeling of having to lose:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mamavation.com/2010/09/confession-time-ive-gained-weight.html
Yes, she only has 10 pounds to lose, but the idea of 5 pounds at a time. I don't know, it made something click in my brain. I have about 10 more to lose, and Leah really kicked me into gear with that video.
So for losing, remember that if you really want to be successful, you need to either write down what you're eating or eat less processed food, more whole food, or both. I want you to be successful!!! 70% food, 30% exercise is what they say. So, exercise! yes! i'm all for it and love it! But to make sure you don't kill yourself with exercise all week and then don't lose, keep an eye on the food!
All that said, I was 38 and 25 pounds overweight when i got pregnant and had a successful home birth with midwives. That's not to say that getting healthy before having your baby is a bad idea!!
Hang in there sista!!! Also, what's your twitter id? I will bug you this week!
I know what you mean on the late bloomer thing. I have been married for several years and just recently had our first child at 30. But you know, my husband and I are so happy we waited as long as we did - we had a lot of fun in our childless years and now we are having a ton of fun learning parenthood together. I wouldn't change a thing...and I am now 31 and will not try to get pregnant again for at least a year or so (work reasons) and I really want 3 kids....so if you do the math, we will likely have kids when I am past 35.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got pregnant I was about 40 lbs overweight. Being pregnant helped me want to eat healthier than ever, because I knew I was affecting my son as well.
Good luck! I look forward to reading your updates!!!
Erin
Welcome to Mamavation!! Don't discourage yourself. Many women these days are waiting loger to have babies and the issues can be very small. Go with the flow with what ever happens, just keep strong through it!
ReplyDeleteThank you girls!! I know I'm certainly not the Lone Ranger in the 'older mom' category, but they sure do love to freak you out, don't they?
ReplyDeleteAnd Greta, my twitter is @jessicafiumara
Dude! Ok so, (a) you and hubs are gonna be awesome parents!!!! you are both such beautiful souls and I'm convinced that y'all would be the "cool parents" (b) so glad u found mamavation. If anyone can answer your questions these remarkable women can!!! (c) know that u have a babysitter anytime u need! I'm done with the baby phase so I'll need to get my fix occasionally when you are ready!
ReplyDeletePart of your post really struck a chord with me... I recently threw the notion of a goal weight out the window. I will not be defined by a number or arbitrary chart (flashback to drill team) but will instead work towards a healthy life! I'm so proud of you! I'm here to support you in ANY way I can!
SO GLAD we reconnected! High school was TOOOOOO long ago!
I love this post! Building better habits is the way to go. If you concentrate on that, the weight will come off on its own. One of the reasons I am doing this is because I'm ready to have another baby and I want to be healthier for myself and my future baby. You can't always control everything in a pregnancy, so getting control of yourself beforehand is a priority.
ReplyDeleteGood luck this week, and be sure to tweet about everything. I will cheer you on!