In which I mourn a loss and rebel against losing

So this spring has been brutally busy. Going back to school was a far bigger challenge than I was expecting. I'm nearly finished with the spring semester, but summer session starts a week later, so no rest for the wicked. I'm really looking forward to Fitcation at the beginning of June, if only for a few days off of schoolwork.

As some of you may have seen on twitter, I also lost a very good friend last month. I've known her since I was 15 years old, we went to high school and college together and were in each others weddings. She had been ill for the last couple of years, but never let on to anyone how serious the situation was. Her death was completely unexpected to everyone (except her husband and family).

No one knows for certain since her family chose to not do an autopsy, but it's pretty likely that my friend died as a direct result of weight loss surgery. She had the stomach stapling surgery about 8 years ago or so, and then had the more drastic form where they remove most of your stomach about 5 years ago (she never told anyone other than her family about the second surgery). Because she lost most of her ability to absorb nutrients as a result, she basically slowly starved until her organs shut down. The part that makes me furious is that she did not need the second surgery AT ALL. She was down to about a size 12 after the first surgery, was healthy, and looked great.

I can only surmise that weight issues and insecurity killed my friend. I've been really rebelling against my diet and fitness since then. I've got to find the happy medium in my mind between just eating whatever the hell I want and the forced starvation that she endured. I will find it again soon I hope.